One of the most poisonous lies Satan whispers to many daughters of God, which they believe and say out so many times, is:
“When God is ready, He’ll settle me. I’ll just face other things for now and leave this marriage issue.”
When they say this, they think they have spoken wisdom. But no, it is an expression of outright annoyance at God. It is the language of a heart that feels let down, the sigh of a woman who thinks God is too slow, too careless, or too uncaring to handle her case.
But sis, this is a trap! This deception has crippled destinies and delayed marriages unnecessarily.
It is the same posture Priest Eli took when God pronounced judgment on his house. Instead of rising to intercede, he simply said, “It is the Lord: let Him do what seemeth Him good” (1 Samuel 3:18).
And many sisters speak the same way about marriage today from frustration.
But dear sis, these are words of people who haven’t really sat down to know God.
God is not a dictator forcing His way. He gave us choice: “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life” (Deuteronomy 30:19).
We must want Him, seek Him, and ask Him. Faith doesn’t fold arms in resignation. It partners with God in prayer, obedience, and desire.
Also Read: ARE YOU BEING DEFEATED BY SEXUAL ADDICTIONS?
Misplaced Blame in Marriage Waiting Seasons
Many times, when disappointments in marital issues come, it is not the wickedness of God. C’mon! There’s no wickedness in God at all!!
If you are a child of God, though the pain in your heart is real and serious, that might have happened FOR YOU! Yes, for your good!
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Moreso, the path that led you to heartbreak, was it the Lord that led you there? The Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come? Of course not! No matter the dreams and visions that took you that path, sis, it was not God! Oh, c’mon then, why are you looking for someone to push the blame on? And of all people to blame, why the Lord?
I have noticed that the sisters who say this the most are often the very ones who do not take their spiritual lives seriously.
They stroll in and out of relationships as they please. They do not seek God’s leading. They do not inquire of Him before choosing. They shoot their own shots, get shot in the legs, bleed from heartbreak after heartbreak, and then point fingers at Heaven!
When life finally corners them and pain should have driven them to prayer and alignment, they grow bitter instead. They throw tantrums at innocent God. They say, “I won’t even bother praying about marriage again.”
At God! At the very God who has been patiently waiting to heal them, prepare them, and align them.
Like… what! What ignorance. What blindness. What a trick of the devil!
Also Read: What Trials Teach Us About Ourselves
Wasted Days, Dangerous Delays
Sis, there are days Heaven designs for you to be gathering information about your man in prayer, seeing into the future, relishing God’s plans, receiving instructions for destiny, and destroying every evil agenda ahead.
Read that again….slowly!
But instead of using those days well, you waste them on ephemeral things that hold no eternal value. You chase shadows. You drown in distractions.
“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16).
Then suddenly, when you finally realize marriage is serious, you are in a rush. No more patience to wait on God’s dealings. You want a “sharp sharp” answer.
And as you rush, the one whose counsel of do better things, marriage can wait counsel that you had yielded to (Mr. Devil himself) keeps you busier still. He keeps you up at night with unserious conversations, laughing away hours with men who have no future in your life, while time ticks away.
Meanwhile, your body is not getting any younger. Your egg reserve quietly diminishes day by day. And when the devil has finished his distraction game and you finally crawl back to God in surrender, you may get married, but then another painful waiting begins. Yes, the long battle with infertility!
Oh shame on Satan! He wastes waiting seasons, steals preparation time, and tries to further rob God’s children of joy in marriage!!!
Also Read: Beware of Spiritual Paralysis
Marriage Is Not the Wedding Day
Oh no, it’s not! Marriage is not the wedding day!
This needs to be clear because I’ve realized that many of my sisters who get mad at God this way and spew these words only think of the wedding day, the change of name, the dress, the cake, the age, the trending hashtags, the sex, and the Instagram posts of their couple’s tees and cute kids one year later!!!
Like… what? Sis, that’s all you think marriage is?
You can’t be waiting for marriage and be idle and give up on God and give up on fervent prayers. Never!!!
When you are mad in your heart, avoid every books on marriage, prayers on marriage, counsels on marriage because you are mad at God and want to focus on better things, can’t you see you’re not set?
Marriage is not an event. It is not a photoshoot. It is not just a night of passion.
Marriage is an assignment, a covenant, a life’s work. It needs serious preparation, full blown prayer banks, a complete character overhauling, gathering different wisdoms from every wells available etc.
Like, how can you ever get bored and idle while preparing for marriage?
But if all you think about when you think of ‘prepare’ in relation to marriage is the day and the funfair, then you will have no strength for the years after.
If all you dream about is the bed, then you will be shocked when battles rise at the delivery table.
If all you desire is the social media show, then you will wake up to the real work and realize you were never ready.
Marriage is a destiny platform. It is a war zone. It is a place of purpose, stretching, dying to self, and raising godly seeds. It is the laboratory of humility and love. It is Heaven’s tool to build you and advance the Kingdom.
So sis, wake up! Marriage is not about showing off but about showing Christ.
How God Prepares His Daughters for Marriage
Marriage is not a dumping ground for the unprepared. It is a holy assignment, and God is too wise to hand His precious sons dirty gifts.
So what does He do? He prepares you.
Character Treatment – He will deal with your pride, your sharp tongue, your impatience, your unforgiveness. He will teach you humility, service, and meekness. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands… even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:1–4).
Spiritual Pedicure and Manicure – He will soften your hardened walk, cleanse your stained hands, and shape you into a vessel of honor. “If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use” (2 Timothy 2:21).
Warfare Training – He will train your hands for battle so you can fight and break family patterns, generational curses, and satanic interferences. So, you can cry with joy in different seasons of your victories: “Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight” (Psalm 144:1).
Sharpening of Ears and Eyes – He will tune your spirit to discern the counterfeit from the real. Without this, you’ll keep saying “yes” to wolves in sheep’s clothing. “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God” (1 John 4:1).
So, my sisters, understand: God is not punishing you by “delaying” you. He is preparing you. E gbe ori yin duro, ma 🙏 (Stay still and allow Him, ma!)
Also Read: STEP AFTER STEP
Rounding Off
As I round off, one sad thing I have realized is that some singles like to learn only by their own painful lessons. The devil turns their ears deaf to every godly instruction. He whispers:
“Enter it first. Prove this teacher, prove this pastor wrong. Prove Mrs. Yaks wrong. Prove God’s Word unnecessary. Marriage can work without it being from God. Get it done!”
And tragically, many yield. They walk straight into disobedience, only to later realize: “Oh, what a truth it was all along!”
But by then, oh, by then! They are trapped in a marriage they cannot easily escape. Their tears cannot undo their choice. Their regrets cannot turn back the clock.
Oh, I pray for you, dear sister reading this, that your heart will not be hardened to the Spirit of wisdom! May the Spirit of God soften you now. May you not ignore His warnings. May you not learn by disaster but by surrender.
So stop saying, “When God is ready, He’ll settle me.” No. He is ready. Are you?
Stop folding your hands in resignation. Faith is active. Preparation is part of faith.
God is calling you to the preparation room. Let Him work on your character, your spirit, your discernment, your warfare life. So when He presents you, you will be a crown of glory in His hands.
“Thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of thy God” (Isaiah 62:3).
Frequently Asked Questions on Waiting and Preparing for Marriage
Many Christian single sisters often ask deep and pressing questions about waiting, preparation, and God’s timing in marriage. Below are some of the most common ones, answered in light of God’s Word.
Q: Why does God seem to delay marriage?
A: Are you sure it is God delaying you or you delaying Him? Many times, God is ready, but we are the ones resisting His process. The earlier you yield to His refining, the faster you will leave the waiting room. “For the vision is yet for an appointed time… though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come” (Habakkuk 2:3).
Q: Does God still choose a spouse for His children?
A: Yes! He chose Eve for Adam. He chose Rebekah for Isaac. His Word says, “Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord” (Proverbs 19:14). God still orchestrates marriages today. Scripture also says, “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil” (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NLT). From the very beginning, “the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:22).
Q: Why do some preachers say God doesn’t choose spouses anymore?
A: Sadly, many who could not persevere to get it right from God now stand on pulpits discouraging others from trusting Him fully. Because they failed to wait, they now declare it impossible.
Moreso, they have formulas crafted to replace God’s leading—books, courses, matchmaking sessions, and coaching programs—and they sell them to Christians who are too anxious to wait or too lazy to pray. These people enrich themselves while taking the place of the true Counsellor, Guide, and Helper, the Holy Spirit.
And when their formulas fail, they create new ones (which you must also pay for) to counsel you out of the very marriages they led you into.
Q: Should I start praying early for marriage?
A: Absolutely. The earlier, the better. Early prayers allow you to receive treasures from God for your future home, and to fight and win battles long before they arise. “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” (Jeremiah 33:3).
Q: At what age should I start preparing for marriage?
A: If you’re asking this question, you are already overripe for preparation. True preparation is not buying plates or houses, those are cheap preparations. Real preparation is spiritual. Virgin Mary was a teenager and she was set. Same with Queen Hadassah. While old Mummy Jezebel wasn’t. Yet she had ages and the wealth It is not by age or money, it is by alignment.
Q: What is the best way to prepare for marriage?
A: The best preparation is to be spiritually rooted in God. Marriage is not sustained by beauty, money, or romance. It is sustained by covenant, prayer, and obedience. “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).
Q: Does waiting on God for marriage mean doing nothing?
A: No. Waiting is active. It means building intimacy with God, strengthening your prayer life, and allowing Him to refine you. Waiting time is training time. “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:31).
Q: How do I know if I am ready for marriage?
A: Readiness is not sheer desire, it is maturity in Christ. You are ready when you can love sacrificially, forgive easily, pray faithfully, and discern rightly. Every other thing is secondary.
Q: Can someone miss their marital destiny?
A: Yes, if they rush ahead of God or disobey His instructions. But if you remain surrendered, He will align you with His perfect will.
Q: Is marriage guaranteed for every Christian?
A: God’s original design is marriage (Genesis 2:18). So, for the majority, His plan is marriage. But there are rare exceptions: some are eunuchs (Matthew 19:12) or specially called to undivided devotion (not to career or something else. Devotion to God!) (1 Corinthians 7:7). These are exceptions, not the rule.
Shall we pray together?
(Take these few prayer points alone, in your private corner, unrushed. God bless you, sis)
1. Oh Father, forgive me for the prideful jabs I had thrown at You, thinking I was punishing You, not knowing I was the one at a loss. Forgive me, Lord.
2. Heavenly Father, please deliver me from every ignorance and deception Satan has planted in me about marriage in the mighty Name of Jesus.
3. Lord, prepare me. Work on my character, cleanse me, sharpen my spirit. Don’t let me rush ahead of Your process.
4. Lord, destroy every generational battle and curse standing against my marriage in the mighty Name of Jesus.
5. Lord, align me in Your time. Make me ready to be handed over by You to the one You’ve chosen for me, a lovely, pure, and precious bride in Jesus’ Name.
6. Lord, I return to prayer and focus. Set my heart again on You, and align me with my marital destiny in the mighty Name of Jesus.
(Continue as the Spirit leads you)
Also Read: The Lovers’ Diary: When God Writes Your Love Story
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