Self Before All, Family Falls!

Echoes of Truth

March 4th, 2026.

Theme: Reclaiming Biblical Womanhood

 

“A generation trained to pursue self above all will always see sacrifice- marriage and child  upbringing for instance, as oppression.”
– The BUD Family Africa

 

The quote for today brings to mind a ruthless woman in the Scriptures who is rarely discussed. Her name was Athaliah.

 

When you read through Chronicles, there is a pattern. Whenever a king is mentioned, the Scriptures often refer to the woman who raised him. Then the Bible records whether that king did what was right in the sight of God or whether he did evil. The influence of the mother was never treated as a small matter.

 

Athaliah was no exception.

 

Her son, King Ahaziah of Judah, is described in 2 Chronicles 22:4 as one who did evil in the sight of God. The reason is revealed earlier. The Scriptures say his mother encouraged him in wickedness. She guided him toward evil rather than toward God.

 

Why would a mother do such a thing?

 

Because that was the life she herself had learned.

 

Athaliah was the daughter of King Ahab and Jezebel, one of the most infamous couples ever to rule among God’s people. Ahab was a wicked king, but Jezebel was the stronger force behind the throne. She ignored the commands of God, manipulated her husband, and used power to get whatever she wanted.

 

When she desired Naboth’s land, she arranged his death. When the Scriptures say she hated the prophets of God, it was not a small hostility. Many of them were killed, except those whom God preserved through Obadiah. She even openly threatened the prophet Elijah.

 

Jezebel was driven by power, not by obedience. She ruled through control, manipulation, and self-will.

 

Athaliah grew up under that influence.

 

She learned the same pattern so well that she eventually became an even more brutal version of her mother. When her son Ahaziah died after only a year on the throne, Athaliah seized the opportunity for power. To secure the throne, she ordered the killing of her own grandchildren, the rightful heirs of the royal line. Only one child survived because God preserved him in secret.

 

Athaliah then declared herself queen over Judah.

 

Why does her story matter in this discussion?

 

Because it shows what happens when self is allowed to rule a person’s life.

 

Athaliah demonstrates this in a very extreme way.

 

She had grown up in a home where self and power were everything. Her mother Jezebel ignored the commands of God and used manipulation, violence, and control to get what she wanted (1 Kings 21:7–16). Athaliah learned that same spirit. She was raised in an environment where personal ambition mattered more than obedience to God or care for others.

 

When her son Ahaziah died, Athaliah saw an opportunity. Instead of protecting her grandchildren and preserving her family, she killed the royal heirs so she could take the throne for herself (2 Chronicles 22:10). Power for herself mattered more than the lives of her own descendants.

 

This is the clearest expression of a life ruled by self. Self has no loyalty. It does not protect family. It does not value covenant. It only asks one question: What do I gain from this?

 

The Scriptures say that in the last days people will be lovers of themselves. When self becomes the highest value, every command of God begins to feel like a restriction. Every responsibility that requires sacrifice begins to look like oppression.

 

Also Read: Let me be a woman 

 

Two of the most self-giving commitments a person can enter in this life are marriage and raising children. Marriage requires two people to live in covenant, to serve one another, to forgive, to endure, and to honor God’s order in the home. Raising children requires a mother to give her body, her time, her sleep, her strength, and many years of devoted care so that another life can grow.

 

These are deeply selfless callings.

 

So when a generation is taught to place self above everything else, it should not surprise us that these two places begin to suffer first. If self must always come first, then marriage will feel like a burden and children will feel like an interruption.

 

That is why today, many openly reject these things. Some say they do not want to take a husband’s name. Some say they do not want children because pregnancy may change their bodies or disrupt their plans. Some would rather nurture pets or plants than raise children. Commitment begins to look unnecessary. Covenant begins to feel like limitation.

 

But the consequences of this self-preservation endeavour do not stop with personal choices.

 

The family is the first structure God established for human life. When the family weakens, the church eventually weakens as well because the church is made up of families. When covenant disappears in homes, faithfulness becomes rare in congregations. This is why even within churches today there are many broken marriages and unstable homes. The same ideas shaping the world have slowly entered the church.

 

At the root of all this is the enthroning of the self.

 

The culture speaks constantly about self-love, self-fulfillment, and self-expression. Yet the Scriptures call believers to deny self and follow Christ. What the Word says must be crucified is now being crowned. How unfortunate!

 

Once self sits on the throne, anything that challenges it will appear oppressive. A woman having more than two children may be told she is troubling herself unnecessarily. A wife discussing decisions with her husband may be told she is being controlled. Ordinary expressions of family life begin to look like injustice instead of covenant.

 

Athaliah’s life shows the extreme end of this path. When self rules, loyalty disappears. Family ties disappear. Even children and grandchildren can become obstacles to power.

 

Self has no loyalty. It has no lasting alliances. It only asks what it can gain.

 

This is why the Lord Jesus said that anyone who wants to follow Him must first deny self, take up the cross, and walk in obedience. True life begins when self no longer sits on the throne and God’s truth becomes the authority over our desires, our ambitions, and our choices.

Also Read: Consistent Denial of Your Self Will Make You Spiritual

 

RECOMMENDED: How should Biblical Women Act- Voddie Baucham

 

 

Let us pray

Heavenly Father, thank You for being intentional about us not being deceived by the world and its many offered lies. Thank You yet again for today and how You have exposed us to the lie of self and how it can only push us far out of Your will as women. 

We confess every sin we have committed because we are more self-driven and self-focused. We ask for grace yet again to be able to resist self and its demands, take up the cross of obedience to Your will and follow You, Jesus wholeheartedly. 

Teach us to see daily the blessings in our calling as women and may we be filled with gratitude to You for each one of them. Help us to lead thankful lives as women. We humbly ask that we will be daily filled with the Holy Spirit that we may honour You by letting the Holy Spirit direct all affairs of our womanhood.

Thank You, Father. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!