Couple’s Hangout with the Ojemola
Anchored by Esther Oyekunle
Mrs Ojemola: My name is Adeyoola Mercy nee Adejuwon now Ojemola. I am married to Oladipupo Ojemola and we have been married for a year and 9 months thereabout. We have a son now TOluwani Ojemola.
I am a proud BUD member who is a Lover of God.
Question 1: How did you both meet and how did you know that the other person was your God-given spouse?
Mrs Ojemola: We met first in my 300level 1st semester. He was a lecturer by that time. I had a question for one of our Chaplains in school but he was busy so he saw Bro Dipupo and asked him to attend to my question. So we met. That should be 2013.
The God’s choice part for marriage didn’t come around until 2016 December.
That should be 28 December.
He came to my father’s house. I though it was a Big Bro’s visitation but lo and behold, he came for something else.
He asked that I complement his life.
I was shocked because I never thought of it. Praying, a month later, I knew it was him.
Well, we have always been in touch and I knew about his past relationships. He knew about the crushes I had, the hopeful relationships that didn’t be. But never once did it cross my mind that he would come my way.
I almost started a relationship during service year. He counselled me about not entering it alongside Mrs Lizzy Yakubu and Miss Aremu Omolola plus my parents.
Glory to God I didn’t because it would have turned bad for me.
After that about two months later, he came to me asking that I be his.
Question 2: How was your first of marriage? Was it a journey? Were there challenges and how did you overcome?
Mrs Ojemola: No it wasn’t o!!!!!!!!!
We had a major challenge which was my kidnap incidence. My baby was already in my womb. But then, the aftermath strengthened our relationship and bond.
Another was about two months after our wedding when it was like all our expenses and saving and other money just disappeared because we had to repair our vehicle which spoilt suddenly.
It wasn’t a good one.
Another was when I had a miscarriage. I was so sad.
These are just a major recap. In all, God kept using all these to build our trust in him
My baby, Eriyoola was with me during the kidnap incidence. I just discovered his existence barely four days before I was kidnapped. I thought I would loose another pregnancy but God kept him.
Question 3: WHAT ONE MAJOR LESSON HAVE YOU LEARNT SO FAR IN THIS MONTHSSSS OF MARRIAGE?
Mrs Ojemola: There are many lessons, but a major one was “Trust in the Lord with all your heart”.
There is nothing we do without trusting God! We have come to realize early enough that Jesus should be our only source of hope. The one we trust wholeheartedly.
1. If it’s God, it’s good and it will be good.
2. I am not perfect, my wife is not perfect; God is helping us daily into perfection.
Question 4: What advice would you give to young sisters who aren’t yet of marriageable age but are hoping and praying not to miss it in marriage?
What advice would you give to singles who are looking forward to settling down already?
What encouragement would you give to your fellow married ones?
Mrs Ojemola: Generally, I will say, you won’t miss it if you believe in your heart that you won’t. Your believe should be on the base that God will help you choose.
Secondly, it is important that you don’t en-burden your heart with concerns of I want to marry, I want to marry, who will I marry, who will marry me?
Too much thoughts on this will only yield to worry.
Knowing that God has you covered should be able to sooth your heart and mind.
Not because you are not concerned but because you know God will make all things beautiful in His own time.
Next is that it is good to have speculations on the kind of man you want to marry.
Except that he is a child of God and he isnt lazy neither is he not a man who has no aspirations and purpose.
Then all others are secondary.
Don’t seek a ready made man.
He has a built house. He has a steady job. He has his own car. He has a well paying job, he has this, he has that, he is tall, dark and handsome.
God can give you a man that has all these but that is dependant on if he is His will for you.
Don’t look for ready-made bread.
Making your own bread can be sweeter.
Lastly, to the married sisters, we are all married together. We know how things dey go. But one thing I have learnt recently is that a house is built through knowledge, with understanding are its treasures found and by wisdom does it stand erect.
Let knowledge, understanding and wisdom be our companionship in this marriage with our spouses.
Mr Ojemola: To the first question.
To sisters who are not yet of marriageable age, I will advice that they be like David who was concerned about the work of His Father in the wilderness, concerned about their fellowship with God till the day ‘Samuel’ will come and say he will not sit until you return.
There’s no rush about getting married o and about being in a relationship.
Keep yourself busy with your relationship with God and the work of the Master as you grow both physically and spiritually.
To the second set, and this applies to the first set too.
Psalm 127:1 says if the Lord does not build a house, he that builds build in vain.
Hebrews 3:4 says the builder of all things is God.
If the Lord does not build your relationship, it will be in vain. Thank God if the relationship crumbles before marriage but if it leads into marriage, it is collosal.
Let God be the builder of you relationship and your marriage.
Remember He is the builder of all things, including your relationship and marriage.
Let God lay the foundation, not age, not Parents, not Peer influence, not culture, not, not the fact that you are now a graduate and not the fact that the brother is my counselor or mentor.
Let God be the builder. And for God to be the builder, your relationship with him must be sound.
To the fellow married, Prov. 24:3-4 says by wisdom a house is built. Not love. Wisdom helps to understand, apply and reciprocate love.
Let’s go for wisdom, the wisdom of God.
James 3:17 says the wisdom that is mfrom above is first pure, peaceable, entreatable etc
Wisdom is the principal thing to succeed in marriage.
Where can we get this wisdom? The scripture and Spirit-bred books, songs, meetings etc.
God will help our hearts in Jesus name.
Facilitator: So we want to go into the next session. We’d give you both just 20 minutes to gist us.
Mrs Ojemola: So I said I was almost starting a relationship but I didn’t thanks to Godly counsel.
The point of this gist is that don’t make the decision of whom to marry on your own. Carry your spirit-filled parents/friends along. It goes a long way.
I almost started a relationship during my service year. He was my first friend during service year and he was indeed a child of God. I liked him very very much.
I have never been in a relationship before so having someone like him was like, “what else am I finding in a man”?
He was a very handsome Nigerian man from Bayelsa, he was spirit-filled and had knowledge of God and His word. All seemed right and perfect to be in a relationship with him and marry.
From the moment I started having feelings for him, the Holy Spirit in His subtle way will tell me he is not for you.
I will pretend like I didn’t hear that.
Until I found out the feelings were mutual.
We started doing indirect relationship
I would be jealous if any other girl got close to him. I will pray for him, will spend my small alawee to buy him things.
Each time I prayed, I would not feel comfortable praying for marriage with him but I truly liked him.
Then the Holy Spirit began to show me some signs about him.
Mrs Lizzy Yakubu did something on signs on her blog which tally with these signs.
One sign was that he never bought me anything.
Another was that he was asking me if I ever thought of asking sex with him.
Next is that he collected my money without paying back.
Last was that he jabo one day that he still has feelings for his ex girlfriend. Stupid me didn’t mind.
I finished service and went home my parents sought to know who I was in a relationship with. I told them about him of course minus the bad part which obviously I didn’t see nor mind.
My dad said fine, let me interact with him.
My mom said plainly no way. It is not him.
Miss Aremu Omolola will just always tell me, are you sure?
My cousin sister will say have you truly prayed.
Lizzy herself didn’t let me land she said he isn’t for you.
And in deed I didn’t pray because I knew the answer already.
Sometimes we know the answer before we even pray about it.
I knew the answer from the moment my feelings for him was developing but I decided to be blind to the truth.
Thank God for the people he kept beside me.
They didn’t make the decision for me but God used them to guide me to the right path when I didn’t want to.
May God help us not to be foolish deliberately and when not deliberately that He will find us in His mercy.
Thank you. That is the end of my gist.
Question from the group: What other sign apart from peace of mind and confirmations from the word of God and other brethren can one get to know that someone is God’s will?
Mrs Ojemola: I don’t know the why of this question but there could be dreams, trance but none of these are as substantial as receiving from God directly from the Word or through the inner witness of the Spirit. These two can never be wrong.
I’m not one who likes talking about ‘signs’. Do you need sign to be sure of what your daddy tells you.
Most importantly is your relationship with God. If your relationship is real and personal, you will now someone’s God’s will.
Peace of mind came for me after I shared/proposed to her not before.
Looking for signs will box you into a corner which the devil can manipulate.
Get closer to God. Isaiah 30:21 or so says you will hear a voice behind you telling you this is the way, walk in it. You can’t hear if you are not close. Get close.
Compiled by Akinteye Mercy
BUD Writer’s Unit